Fourth Draft script deconstruction - Opening to Stop 'N Snack

Scene-by-scene

I’m going to do my best to keep this less just giving a synopsis of the whole thing and instead attempt to delve into some of the problems here. Bear with me on this, cause it’s hard not to just describe the events of the script. I may repeat some things we’ve already mentioned above, because it’s either unavoidable or it’s worth diving further into, so, again, bear with me.

Where Else To Start But The Beginning

The concept of the Fourth Draft script’s opening is similar to the movie: Jake escapes from jail, there’s a car chase, each member of the Goonies is given a very quick introduction. Simple, right?

Before we’re even able to watch Jake beat up some poor old security guard, we’re first greeted with a short clip of the Goonies reciting their Oath:

Honestly, it’s a shame we never got to see the Oath at all in the film. It would have been nice to hear it even once, just to remind the audience at how seriously Mikey takes this all, with how important it is that they stay on track to finding One-Eyed Willy’s rich stuff. Not to mention, the concept of them having this Oath is an extra way of showing how dedicated they all are to each other instead of having them sit around and say “man we sure are good friends, huh” or whatever. It’s cute, I like it. The way it’s in the script is a little cheesy, sure, but fitting this in elsewhere (not the other way they planned, either) would have been neat.
Funny enough, the Oath is on a lot of the promotional material, too, including the back of the Souvenir Magazine. So, this definitely did stick around even if it wasn’t in the movie.

Now, onto the fun bits of the opening… the car chase.

Yes, the Fratellis make a getaway from the jail. Yes, the police accidentally free the gorillas from their transport van.

You know, I could just stop here and call it a day. But no, I’m going to power through this. I can do this.

The gorillas escape and we cut to the Perkins - Troy and his father (who never technically received a name in the movie but did in the novel  and if you look closely at the final scenes of the movie yadda yadda that’s another subject for another time), who are out for golf at the country club. Obviously this was cut from the sequence because, well, it involved the stupid gorillas, and frankly? We didn’t need this in the first place, because the gorillas steal their golf cart and the two are not pleased in the most foppish, rich way possible:

Here's the thing. If you want your side villains to be, well, side villains, you really shouldn't introduce them by making a joke out of them. If you do that, your audience will immediately recognize "okay, I shouldn't take these losers seriously". When a core plot point is that "oh no, Mr. Perkins is going to repossess the entirety of the Goon Docks and turn it into an extension of the country club", and then entire journey of your movie hinges around saving the Goon Docks, Mr. Perkins needs to be seen as a legitimate threat that will destroy the Goonies' home.

Also, making every other word out of Troy's mouth be a sniveling "daddy" makes the scene where he literally explodes off the toilet just feel... less, and that's supposed to be a big "haha, gottem!" moment.

“Father dearest, it seems as if I have been forced off of my porcelain throne, of where I was previously enjoying a good article in the highly entertaining Guns & Ammo. Please send for me.”

While I can’t confirm that these particular gorilla scenes were filmed, I know that an additional bit was, involving a police car doing a flip off of the Goon Dock’s Goonie docks. It lasts all for a few seconds and you can see it briefly in the behind the scenes documentary on the DVD. It’s also mentioned on the DVD commentary.

Rainy Day Blues

The scenes taking place at Mikey and Brand’s house are surprisingly intact. All of Mouth’s scenes with Rosalita are pretty much word for word the same. I was shocked to find that his mistranslations hadn’t been worse in this original Fourth Draft. This is a great example of comparing the two and seeing what was changed and what wasn’t.

An interesting bit I found that I only caught on later re-reads of the script was that we’re actually given a reason Irene Walsh’s arm is broken:

How in the hell do you break your arm with one of these?

Irene leaves with Rosalita for the supermarket and the boys head upstairs. Aside from a few changes in dialogue and scenario, there’s not much else that happens in that space. Upstairs, however, we’ve got some changes.

Mikey mentions offhand something about an elevator which riles up Brand - a set-up for his claustrophobia. They mess around, discover the map, Mouth translates said map, then discover the article about Chester Copperpot.

Notice how I didn’t mention anything about changes to the One-Eyed Willy story. That’s because it’s missing from this scene. Let’s put a pin in this, we’ll be coming back to this later. Much later.

Mr. Perkins comes by, the kids lament losing the house, and then trap Brand to the chair. As mentioned earlier, we do see Data use his scrapped Glasses of Death here. In a angry meltdown over Mr. Perkins wanting to take the Goon Docks, he tries to use every invention he has in retaliation, which entirely wrecks the living room.

Also, during his introduction in the movie, all he does is break the screen door, absent from this script. Here, he still rides in from his house next door by zipline but instead he tumbles through an open window. I definitely think the final product is better in this regard, having Data as more of an eccentric little kid than angry kid who breaks shit makes him fit in better with the whole “we are Goonies because we are rejects” mold.

What comes next is something that completely blindsided me the first time I read it.

A highly artistic representation of Grandpa.

These three paragraphs. These three paragraphs introduce Grandpa (Walsh) and say goodbye to Grandpa (Walsh). He is never seen in the script ever again. He’s not mentioned by anyone else in any scene, he doesn’t show up at the ending reunion, Grandpa is literally only here for a single bit of them running through Mikey’s tiny yard to their bikes.

Who is Grandpa? Which side of the family is he from? Irene’s? Irving’s? Why is he sleeping outside in a location that gets rained on all the time in the fall? How does he react to being rudely awoken by Mouth? Why doesn’t he tell Irene about them running off like that, instead of her coming home and learning about this from Brand? Why doesn’t he go and help his grandson from his workout gear prison?

We’ll just never know.

You may think that I’m just playing up this bit character as a joke, as a “haha, funny times” thing to keep the reader interested. But I honestly, honestly want to get across the same spiraling confusion these three sentences sent me down. It’s almost comparable to the way I felt when I read the gorillas thing, just less horrified and more confused and lost. I had an adventure, once. Now, you must experience it too.

Stop ‘N Snack scene

This is the first scene, removed from the film, that has been restored on subsequent DVD releases. Some sources and reports from the average viewer even say that, it’s included in syndicated showings of the film, which is a neat fact. Somewhere out there is a master copy with all four deleted scenes still in the movie.

Here, in the Fourth Draft script, we’re given some more details on the scene itself, something easier to get across in text, obviously. We get the full name of the owner; Data is described as fixing the cash register in return for some candy bars (but would prefer real payment); Chunk is meant to be eating the filling out of Twinkies instead of taste testing cartons of ice cream (the ice cream helping set up for the freezer bit later in the movie); Troy steals a porno mag being browsed by Mouth and comments on Andy’s body; Mouth uses a different tactic to steal the Willy’s map back from Brand.

Also here is where we’re introduced to Mikey’s interest in her.

On the surface, this seems harmless. But as we discuss later scenes, we’ll get around to how seedy and weird Mikey’s attraction to Andy is.